More Tests?

That's it I want to say I've had enough.
God may want me, but seemingly there are people who are not happy with that.
Why should I not jump down in to the Devils loving arms, and leave the rest of them to God?
What is stopping me is that my Savouior allowed me to feel love.
I do not want to turn back on that love.
I still feel the need to have a focal point for my rage, will my Lord stop me from killing an innocent child?

To my Vampyre, I will not hide, We have done no wrong neither legaly or moraley. I have asked for protection and even as I type this I feel his power. Yet I have to decide am I a Disciple or just a christian?
Do I go within the public gaze of St.Peters and the tormentor, or do I stay within the confinds of my room and that which is north of the river?

If I am a Disciple I will stand strong to my belief, and leave everything knowing that they are safe in his hands. Itseems that currently unless you seek me that even standing strong, means only being able to see you for an hour each week.